The Struggles, The Tears, The Dreams – A Dressage Journey

Karma exists.  I am a firm believer that acts of kindness, honesty, and good intent will be returned to you throughout life.  I also believe that acts of ill intent, dishonesty, and causing harm will do the same.  And for those whom we’ve witnessed do the latter, we sometimes get the privilege of watching Karma do her work.

I met with the therapist for what I thought was my last meeting.  He explained that if either Ted or I wanted to continue counseling, he could only take one of us.  He was unable to invest in our sessions on an unbiased basis if we were both his clients.  I was in an unstable time in my life and therapy would be a good decision.  However, I was dirt broke, and in no way could I afford to pay him.  I was fortunate that I had fantastic insurance through my job at the feed mill, but a copay of $25 per week was not something I had.  “Did I want therapy if money was not an option?”  Well, that seemed like a dumb question.  “Of course!” 

Bob offered to reduce my co-pay to a shockingly low amount and I burst into tears.   He reassured me that his offer was not as kind as I was making it out to be; he was getting paid by my insurance company after all!  I was still moved and greatly appreciative.  Our weekly sessions were scheduled and I was thankful to have gained another supportive person in my life.  Oh my did we have a lot to talk about!

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To help with extra cash flow, I took a 2^nd part-time job feeding and cleaning stalls at a local barn a few mornings and weekends each week.  It was a short drive from the therapeutic center, so it was an easy addition to my schedule.  Mr. and Mrs. Walker who owned the farm were extremely nice and were excited to have more help on their farm.  Operation “pay off this darn debt” had commenced.

I stopped at Target before my shift at the Walker’s to grab a prescription and heard Ted’s voice.  My stomach dropped.  I turned to face him, half contemplating ditching my happy drugs for another day and bolting out of the store.  Apparently, instead of transferring money from my savings account to my checking account, I transferred it to Ted.  Oh crap.  That money was for my student loan payment.  Oh no.  The right thing here would have been for Ted to transfer the money back.  Surely he’ll give it back.  But it is Ted.  And Ted wasn’t giving the money back.  He was actually enjoying this situation.

I called Ted’s mother in tears.  Could she please talk to him and see if she could convince him to return the money?  I showed up at my relatively new job in tears trying to calm myself down while on the phone with Kara. The money was not coming back. 

Weeks later, I logged in to my computer to pay my bills.  I discovered as angels sang in the background, that Ted’s checking account was one of the payment options on a certain bill.   I was absolutely giddy.  I could have easily made a payment on that credit card for whatever amount I choose.  Take that Ted!  But I didn’t.  I entered the payment for exactly the amount Ted refused to return and hit Submit.  That was a great day. 

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I refused to answer Ted’s calls or messages.  He didn’t have nice things to say and I choose to no longer listen.  He called my cell phone and my office multiple times this particular day and I ignored every one.  His mother reached out to me, letting me know that it had to do with the Mercedes.  Could I please talk to him?  I owed her tremendously for having a place to live, so the next time he called I answered.  Ted was at the car dealership and was trading in the Mercedes.  My name was still on the title.  He told me that I had to drive to the dealership (about an hour away) to sign the car over.  When I calmly responded “No”, he was a bit stunned. Remember Chapter 16 when I was forced to buy this stupid car? Oh, thank you Lord for this moment.  When Ted was unable to convince me that I needed to drop everything I was doing to drive that minute to the car dealership, the salesman thought he might be more successful.

That poor man.  While I don’t remember the exact words I said, I do remember conveying my point that it was in no way going to happen.  If I needed to sign those papers, Ted could bring them back and I would meet him at a notary tomorrow.  If he wants to sell a car, he’d figure out a way to make it happen.

Karma.

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